When i found out my Baby Bug was inside me, i knew all the choices i made from that point on would be different. What i didn't take into account were the people i thought i was close to in my life would changing as well. People i wasn't very close to got dramatically closer to me, leaving some close relationships of mine to have taken a turn for the worse.
Its funny because its not just the people and who they are but my priority's changed. It wasn't about living for that moment alone anymore but now i am not only living in that moment while im trying to live for the future moments as well. Trying to keep my self organized and sane enough to plan for the moments i wanted to happen.
With things being just me and my baby bug my tolerance for anything unhealthy to my moment, or future moments as well as his moments and future moments was and still continues to be cut. It is simple i have no tolerance for the negative or those trying to hold me to be stagnant.
I am his only parent, i have to make smart decisions for the both of us. That is definitely harder said than done because some of the relationships im coming to grips with being closer and some i am loosing are with close friends or family members. A child can harm or strengthen relationships, and in my case it, i have felt both. All i can do is keep going...in hopes that my strengthened relationships keep getting stronger. While those who have the not so strong relationships with me now start to comprehend that what i am doing is not just for the moment but setting up for a future with and for my baby bug.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
What they didn't tell me when i was pregnant...
When people find out you are pregnant its like your immediately holding up a sign you cant see BUT everyone can that says "I'm with child and lost please tell me everything you know about mother hood." Weather they are a mother or not, weather you want their information or not...you get it.
Things i was told repeatedly that have been a blessing:
1. Sleep when your child sleeps
~OK this was the greatest piece of information i could have received. I was probably the most non social mom for months, but i can tell you i was and still am the most rested new mother you have ever heard of! My bug and i got on a routine, my phone was turned off, the doors were locked and we slept. People could only contact me on the times he was awake until i started back at work. It may sound rude, but it helped me stay sane since i was the only one getting up to change diapers and make bottles (with the exception of the nights where my family would let me get to sleep early and they would take my Bug for a few hours)
2. Labor is gonna hurt, its an indescribably type of pain
~so true, but so worth every moment. The funniest thing about this is within a few months you forget! That's how i think women repeatedly have children. They loose that ability to relate to that pain, they no longer can visualize the pain they were once in and can only focus on seeing their babies smile they have a lifetime to see.
3. Be Organized
~so true so true, being organized has made everything in my life seem accomplish-able. As an unattached working mother i have to pack all the lunches for the sitters, have the clothes laid out with back up outfits for the "what-if" planned and plotted. So having the toys cleaned up when my bug lays down, the dishes cleaned as i cook, the diaper bags packed and in the car the night before...really helps and makes things "at the moment" run very smooth.
The things i wish was told and everyone FAILED to mention (this could get graphic!)
If you are induced it could take up to three days! and most inductions (especially in overweight women) end in c sections.
Having a c section is not always a bad as people make it out to be. Its your experience you do the research you know what you could be faced with and how to empower your mind and body to do what needs to be done. After feeling contractions, all the woman i hear of who want to make appointments to have c sections are not as a crazy as i once i thought. If i have another child i will be one of those woman. Its weird to be on drugs after your c section looking at your toes saying "move toe" and they do nothing hahaha... when able to move do it! Walk, drink lots of liquids, move side to side in your bed...it lets your body know "everything is ok" so that it can muster the good stuff up to get better. You will be in the hospital for at least 3 days.a maxi pad works as a GREAT "bandage" for your incision-its absorbs any moisture or fluids from your wound, and its thick to provides cushion between anything that may come in contact with your wound.
The first poop you take will be the hardest most uncomfortable poop of your life. Your muscles are sore and its just bleh. I mean muscles you didn't know you used to poop you will feel as you try to take that first poop.
Sometimes your milk doesn't "drop" in enough time for your baby to being able to breast feed.its not the end of the world you adjust and child will be fine. my "developmentally advanced" (in his doctors words) child was not breastfed and he is smart, activity and not missing ANYTHING.
Your hair styles are no longer to be just cute, but they are all practical, and the pony tail is a moms best most worn friend.
You will always have the energy to love, hug, and kiss your baby when they make even the smallest of accomplishments. Even if they happen at 3 am when you were awaken from your sleep...you will have the energy.
All and all every moment is fun. Knowing the things you can look out for and even the element of surprise when something happens that you weren't aware of it is all apart of the experience.
Things i was told repeatedly that have been a blessing:
1. Sleep when your child sleeps
~OK this was the greatest piece of information i could have received. I was probably the most non social mom for months, but i can tell you i was and still am the most rested new mother you have ever heard of! My bug and i got on a routine, my phone was turned off, the doors were locked and we slept. People could only contact me on the times he was awake until i started back at work. It may sound rude, but it helped me stay sane since i was the only one getting up to change diapers and make bottles (with the exception of the nights where my family would let me get to sleep early and they would take my Bug for a few hours)
2. Labor is gonna hurt, its an indescribably type of pain
~so true, but so worth every moment. The funniest thing about this is within a few months you forget! That's how i think women repeatedly have children. They loose that ability to relate to that pain, they no longer can visualize the pain they were once in and can only focus on seeing their babies smile they have a lifetime to see.
3. Be Organized
~so true so true, being organized has made everything in my life seem accomplish-able. As an unattached working mother i have to pack all the lunches for the sitters, have the clothes laid out with back up outfits for the "what-if" planned and plotted. So having the toys cleaned up when my bug lays down, the dishes cleaned as i cook, the diaper bags packed and in the car the night before...really helps and makes things "at the moment" run very smooth.
The things i wish was told and everyone FAILED to mention (this could get graphic!)
If you are induced it could take up to three days! and most inductions (especially in overweight women) end in c sections.
Having a c section is not always a bad as people make it out to be. Its your experience you do the research you know what you could be faced with and how to empower your mind and body to do what needs to be done. After feeling contractions, all the woman i hear of who want to make appointments to have c sections are not as a crazy as i once i thought. If i have another child i will be one of those woman. Its weird to be on drugs after your c section looking at your toes saying "move toe" and they do nothing hahaha... when able to move do it! Walk, drink lots of liquids, move side to side in your bed...it lets your body know "everything is ok" so that it can muster the good stuff up to get better. You will be in the hospital for at least 3 days.a maxi pad works as a GREAT "bandage" for your incision-its absorbs any moisture or fluids from your wound, and its thick to provides cushion between anything that may come in contact with your wound.
The first poop you take will be the hardest most uncomfortable poop of your life. Your muscles are sore and its just bleh. I mean muscles you didn't know you used to poop you will feel as you try to take that first poop.
Sometimes your milk doesn't "drop" in enough time for your baby to being able to breast feed.its not the end of the world you adjust and child will be fine. my "developmentally advanced" (in his doctors words) child was not breastfed and he is smart, activity and not missing ANYTHING.
Your hair styles are no longer to be just cute, but they are all practical, and the pony tail is a moms best most worn friend.
You will always have the energy to love, hug, and kiss your baby when they make even the smallest of accomplishments. Even if they happen at 3 am when you were awaken from your sleep...you will have the energy.
All and all every moment is fun. Knowing the things you can look out for and even the element of surprise when something happens that you weren't aware of it is all apart of the experience.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Gooooooaaaaaaaalll
The best thing about being the momma to my baby bug is all the great stories that are created to be shared. The hard part is not overwhelming everyone with the so many cool stories I have with this amazing little bug!
Here's one for the record books though!
My baby bug has a new found fascination with the whirlpool action of the toilet when it flushes. I am constantly stopping him from him trying to make the water move on his own as well as stopping him from putting in toys to watch them in the whirl pool action. Last night I laid the bug down to sleep, then I start going through my night time routine of cleaning and prepping for the next day. I got to restroom to use the potty before I lay it down for the night & I lift to toilet seat lid only to find my baby bugs cloth soccer ball floating in the toilet!
Grosses funniest thing ever! He put it in the toilet and shut the lid and I had no clue it was in there. I don't even know how long it was in there, but I do know it had absorbed about half the toilet bowl water. The ball got its picture taken and was immediately taken the washing machine to go through a hot water and bleach cycle.
Here's one for the record books though!
My baby bug has a new found fascination with the whirlpool action of the toilet when it flushes. I am constantly stopping him from him trying to make the water move on his own as well as stopping him from putting in toys to watch them in the whirl pool action. Last night I laid the bug down to sleep, then I start going through my night time routine of cleaning and prepping for the next day. I got to restroom to use the potty before I lay it down for the night & I lift to toilet seat lid only to find my baby bugs cloth soccer ball floating in the toilet!
Grosses funniest thing ever! He put it in the toilet and shut the lid and I had no clue it was in there. I don't even know how long it was in there, but I do know it had absorbed about half the toilet bowl water. The ball got its picture taken and was immediately taken the washing machine to go through a hot water and bleach cycle.
Not in the crowd
On the weekend I clean, shop and cook for the week. I try to knock it out on the weekend when I have time b/c my time and money is valuable. Every dime that is placed into my account also has to be spent in a smart way. I have changed a lot in my life to accommodate this and live better in the long run. Fast food is a treat, going to a restaurant is a privilege, and anything beyond that is gift from the heavens.
Its hard for some people to understand that I can't do all the things I once did. If it isn't planned I can't do it, and even then I am more than likely gonna have to pull cash from something else in order to participate. For me not being able to participate isn't the hard part, but for me but the difficult part comes from those who can't understand when I can't participate. I'm on one income but paying the same amount of bills a couple pays. I have a sitter 5 days a week, so getting a sitter on the weekends can be difficult as well.
Another lesson I've learned in the last year, sometimes people r gonna be upset if I miss events and social activities but if they r close to me then they should truly understand and not take it to heart.
Its hard for some people to understand that I can't do all the things I once did. If it isn't planned I can't do it, and even then I am more than likely gonna have to pull cash from something else in order to participate. For me not being able to participate isn't the hard part, but for me but the difficult part comes from those who can't understand when I can't participate. I'm on one income but paying the same amount of bills a couple pays. I have a sitter 5 days a week, so getting a sitter on the weekends can be difficult as well.
Another lesson I've learned in the last year, sometimes people r gonna be upset if I miss events and social activities but if they r close to me then they should truly understand and not take it to heart.
Nap time
The best advice I received from anyone while I was pregnant was
"Sleep when your child sleeps"
Best advice I have received to this day.
My lil bug is 14 months and doesn't sleep through the night. Something in his brain wakes him up at about the same time every night still. All he needs is a diaper and some milk and he is out again, but will not stay sleep through the night to save either our lives!
I've feed him before bed, given him cereal to keep him full...nope. Taken him to the park and put him n the pool for hours in hopes that just makes him exhausted...nope.
I'm a working mother, a working unattached mother. If he doesn't sleep through the night who do u suppose is the one up to change the diaper and get the bottle...every night...u guessed it mwuah!
The challenges I now face when it comes to getting my nap when he is sleep is being at work when he naps.
I work 40+ hours a week, b/c I don't have the secret to making $$ just pop up in my bank account. So my bug gets his nap in the middle of day while I'm functioning on missing sleep from the night before. What I've done to adjust to this is changing my work schedule. 2 days a week I get off a little bit early so I can take a power nap before I get him from the sitter. I make the time up over those other three days of work so I'm not missing out on time and $$.
Going to parties and family functions sometime impede a little on our napping but that's not consistent so those days I just grab an extra shot of espresso in my morning coffee!
Even tho I miss out on some sleep I don't regret it, never once have I gotten up upset or frustrated. Its my bug, I wake up change a diaper grab a bottle and then he looks in my eyes and nestles his head in my chest as he drifts to sleep. At that moment missing sleep is the last thing on my mind, I don't know how that one moment restores energy, calms nerves but it does instantly! Know matter what you situation or circumstance know the good moments out weigh any of the "what if" feelings and circumstances that you could think of.
"Sleep when your child sleeps"
Best advice I have received to this day.
My lil bug is 14 months and doesn't sleep through the night. Something in his brain wakes him up at about the same time every night still. All he needs is a diaper and some milk and he is out again, but will not stay sleep through the night to save either our lives!
I've feed him before bed, given him cereal to keep him full...nope. Taken him to the park and put him n the pool for hours in hopes that just makes him exhausted...nope.
I'm a working mother, a working unattached mother. If he doesn't sleep through the night who do u suppose is the one up to change the diaper and get the bottle...every night...u guessed it mwuah!
The challenges I now face when it comes to getting my nap when he is sleep is being at work when he naps.
I work 40+ hours a week, b/c I don't have the secret to making $$ just pop up in my bank account. So my bug gets his nap in the middle of day while I'm functioning on missing sleep from the night before. What I've done to adjust to this is changing my work schedule. 2 days a week I get off a little bit early so I can take a power nap before I get him from the sitter. I make the time up over those other three days of work so I'm not missing out on time and $$.
Going to parties and family functions sometime impede a little on our napping but that's not consistent so those days I just grab an extra shot of espresso in my morning coffee!
Even tho I miss out on some sleep I don't regret it, never once have I gotten up upset or frustrated. Its my bug, I wake up change a diaper grab a bottle and then he looks in my eyes and nestles his head in my chest as he drifts to sleep. At that moment missing sleep is the last thing on my mind, I don't know how that one moment restores energy, calms nerves but it does instantly! Know matter what you situation or circumstance know the good moments out weigh any of the "what if" feelings and circumstances that you could think of.
1st year
OK well as I prefaced before my child is Amazing. And though I'm biased I'm sure you can ask anyone who crosses his path the same question and you'll get a similar response.
His father was pro-abortion an as a conservative person the only aborting I could do was leaving the grown man who wanted me to kill a human growing in me. At that moment I took on motherhood head first!
My son was born on a Sunday, he weighed 8lbs 8oz @ 8am, according to Chinese cultural (so I'm told) he is destined for greatness with all his lucky 8's. I knew he was destined to be great when I found out he was hibernating in my belly! (Such a mom I know haha)
When I was in the hospital holding him he was so alert, when someone walked into my room he held his head up and opened his eyes to see who it was. The nurses all kept looking at my chart as the couldn't believe he was hours/days old and "acknowledging" people walking through the door.
3 months later we settled in to being a unit at home. He fell in his routine and I feel into my new role. At 3 months he started rolling over and raising his head upper body up by his arms laying on his stomach.
5 months we crawled like a silver back gorilla on the palms of our hands and bottoms of our feet...no knee's. 5 months and 1 week we pulled our self up on furniture to side step to where we wanted to be...then at 7 months we walked unassisted.
We have a endless amount of energy and growing curiosity about the functions of things in our everyday life. I have taken him to gymnastics, gymboree and my gym classes....BY far if u have the funds my gym was amazing! Their staff was so friendly and eager to help kids satisfy and grow their curiosity about working out, gaining motor skills and agility while teaching them every day lessons such as colors numbers and learning the alpha bet!
We say "ma ma" and "dddddddd" and point to things we want. We can sign "wind" and "outside" but don't do them on demand. I am trying to enunciate the objects he wants, as well as anything I hand him ( I also try to sign the object as well....well all those I know). In hopes that he gets its verbal and visual and can associate it with the object of interest.
We r now 14 months and starting the potty training process! I know its a process and I'm starting early.
My baby bug is smart enough to put two and two together so we will start but go slow and take each moment as they come!
His father was pro-abortion an as a conservative person the only aborting I could do was leaving the grown man who wanted me to kill a human growing in me. At that moment I took on motherhood head first!
My son was born on a Sunday, he weighed 8lbs 8oz @ 8am, according to Chinese cultural (so I'm told) he is destined for greatness with all his lucky 8's. I knew he was destined to be great when I found out he was hibernating in my belly! (Such a mom I know haha)
When I was in the hospital holding him he was so alert, when someone walked into my room he held his head up and opened his eyes to see who it was. The nurses all kept looking at my chart as the couldn't believe he was hours/days old and "acknowledging" people walking through the door.
3 months later we settled in to being a unit at home. He fell in his routine and I feel into my new role. At 3 months he started rolling over and raising his head upper body up by his arms laying on his stomach.
5 months we crawled like a silver back gorilla on the palms of our hands and bottoms of our feet...no knee's. 5 months and 1 week we pulled our self up on furniture to side step to where we wanted to be...then at 7 months we walked unassisted.
We have a endless amount of energy and growing curiosity about the functions of things in our everyday life. I have taken him to gymnastics, gymboree and my gym classes....BY far if u have the funds my gym was amazing! Their staff was so friendly and eager to help kids satisfy and grow their curiosity about working out, gaining motor skills and agility while teaching them every day lessons such as colors numbers and learning the alpha bet!
We say "ma ma" and "dddddddd" and point to things we want. We can sign "wind" and "outside" but don't do them on demand. I am trying to enunciate the objects he wants, as well as anything I hand him ( I also try to sign the object as well....well all those I know). In hopes that he gets its verbal and visual and can associate it with the object of interest.
We r now 14 months and starting the potty training process! I know its a process and I'm starting early.
My baby bug is smart enough to put two and two together so we will start but go slow and take each moment as they come!
Starting
When I got pregnant everyone felt it was their duty to share information with me and I took all the information I was given, weather it was wanted or not I took it.
10 months later (yes 42 weeks) My child came into the world and has been extraordinary since birth, but I've noticed all the advice I was giving really hasn't helped me as I ease into the role of motherhood.
My now 14 month old son has grown with an allergic reaction to milk, he is a picky little eater, and he is beyond super busy for his age group (we started walking at 5 months and unassisted at 7). I don't wanna hinder his growth and development so its my job to keep him challenged, well fed and healthy. At the same time I am playing mommy and daddy roles. I bring home the bacon, I clean it, cook it, and everything else in between you can name!
I am always looking for ways to obtain my goals while not getting stagnant while trying to do the same for my child. I want him to have a great childhood, to be active and laugh and experience everything I did plus more. So I'm always looking for ways to stay organized, cut corners, find the best deals, keep my bills paid and our necessities purchased, while spending time with my son creating memories.
I've read the "popular blogs" and look for the not so popular ones but none that I have found have assisted me in what I'm trying to accomplish. So with this blog I want to share my experiences, in hopes that someone else stumbles across it and can't stop reading because they are on information overload.
From this point on this is my story, my trial, and the testimony of Me & My Baby Bug.
10 months later (yes 42 weeks) My child came into the world and has been extraordinary since birth, but I've noticed all the advice I was giving really hasn't helped me as I ease into the role of motherhood.
My now 14 month old son has grown with an allergic reaction to milk, he is a picky little eater, and he is beyond super busy for his age group (we started walking at 5 months and unassisted at 7). I don't wanna hinder his growth and development so its my job to keep him challenged, well fed and healthy. At the same time I am playing mommy and daddy roles. I bring home the bacon, I clean it, cook it, and everything else in between you can name!
I am always looking for ways to obtain my goals while not getting stagnant while trying to do the same for my child. I want him to have a great childhood, to be active and laugh and experience everything I did plus more. So I'm always looking for ways to stay organized, cut corners, find the best deals, keep my bills paid and our necessities purchased, while spending time with my son creating memories.
I've read the "popular blogs" and look for the not so popular ones but none that I have found have assisted me in what I'm trying to accomplish. So with this blog I want to share my experiences, in hopes that someone else stumbles across it and can't stop reading because they are on information overload.
From this point on this is my story, my trial, and the testimony of Me & My Baby Bug.
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